Capper Is Two

NOTE: I thought I posted this back in January but evidently it never actually posted. So here it is.

Every year, on my children's birthday, I write them a letter. I figure by the time they are 18 it will be quite a book that they can look back on and see how they've grown. I also think it's important to have something from Mom that is handwritten, in the unlikely event something happens to me they will always have these letters to hold onto. Here is Capper's letter for this year:

If you are unable to view the document due to screen size you can view is via GoogleDocs here.

It's still January, not too late for a New Year's post!

By now you've probably heard of choosing one word to focus on throughout a year rather than getting tied up in a bunch of resolutions you will never really keep. I normally don't do either, I don't make resolutions and I don't choose a word. But this year I wanted to try something new.

I thought about what word I could choose... "here," "present," "grow," "toward," "bloom,""intentional"...I thought about what others had chosen..."with," "seek," "radiant"...And I finally settled on one word.

I tend to be task-oriented. I love people and I love relationships but what I find myself doing is, well, doing things rather than just being present. I sit down to read my Bible and my mind fills with the million tasks I plan to do when I get up. I sit down to read a book to my kids and I remember I forgot to grab them a bedtime snack first. I go on a walk with my kids and I am happy to check "get some exercise" off my list. I sit down to talk to Daniel and I start trying to remember all the things we needed to touch base about. I am working with a Therapist at work to triage a client (determine whether psychiatric hospitalization is necessary) and I am focused on making sure all the boxes on my assessment are complete.

In the midst of all of this, when do I LISTEN? When do I listen to what my kids are really saying when they are misbehaving? When do I listen to how my husband's day was and not just try to tell him about my own? When do I actually listen to the people at the gas station asking us for money? When do I listen to the parent of the child at the park that Anellah has just become best friends with? When do I listen to GOD rather than just asking him for my laundry list of requests?

We are now twenty two days into the New Year and I can definitely say I have been stretched. I shouldn't be surprised that the man in Walgreens seemed genuinely thankful we stopped and talked to him for a minute. That I let my kids pet his mangy dog. I shouldn't be surprised how difficult it is to still my mind and listen to what God may be telling me in the moment or through the day's circumstances. I shouldn't be surprised that maybe my kids "difficult" behaviors may stem from my own actions.

I am excited to see how God uses this act of listening...this act of putting aside what I want to do or say and really taking the time to hear others. I am excited to see how this changes our marriage.

How are your 2014 goals going? Do you, after almost a month, still remember what they are?

Getting Crafty

Confession: I don't like playing with my kids...ok maybe that sounds a bit harsh. In reality it is that I try to play with them but I get bored. I get tired of always being the teacher while my student, "Buh-Nella" tells me what activity is next and I get tired of holding Capper upside down to tickle him relentlessly. I like forts...for a few minutes but then I am ready to clean the floors because sitting on the floors makes me realize how filthy they are.

I know that is is important to play with my kids and I am thankful to have the luxury of time to do it. So I've developed a compromise. With the help of Pinterest I have a stash of fun activities in my mind. When I realize that we have 30 minutes or so we can do something fun instead of me trying pacify the kids while I cook, or clean, or check my email. Ironically, I find that when I play with the kids or do activities with them before they begin attention-seeking, I am then rewarded with some time later in the day where they are happy to play by themselves or play with each other. It's almost like they need their quota of Mommy's attention for the day and then they're content.

Here are some of the activities we have been doing lately:

Thanksgiving Turkeys

Blocks- not actually a craft project but it can use some creative juices. I made the "house" on the left and Anellah was copying it perfectly!

We were sewing a table runner together...it turned into a hat for a bit.

Anellah loves her "goo" It's the consistency of Gak. You can find a recipe here.

Glowstick Lantern

"So you're moving?"

A few months ago I posted on Facebook that we are officially moving to Washington. The timeline, however, is to be determined. Since then it has come up frequently as a topic of conversation both in our home and with friends. I feel very ambivalent about moving, there is so much that I love about living in Oakland. We have a church that is truly a community, Anellah's preschool teacher and staff are a God-send, I have a job that is perfect for our current needs, Anellah is well established with her medical providers, it's sunny almost every day, we have very close friends, we can grow plenty in our garden, our home is beautiful, our neighbors rock, the list goes on...

Painting with Friends yesterday

BUT there is a BIG thing missing, we don't have family here. I guess I never really understood the family connection until I moved away and started a family of my own. But now that I have, I see that I connect with relatives (whether related by blood, adoption, or marriage) in a way that I can't connect with friends.

Playing with Cousin Sophie on our trip to Washington last month

Ice Cream with Cousin Eloise

Daniel and I often talk about moving and ask ourselves, "How are we going to make this move work? How are we going to pry ourselves away from this fantastic place while our kids are still young enough to need the free babysitting that grandparents offer?" We've come to the conclusion that there are three steps. Here is our specific plan, I am sure you will find it enlightening:

Step number one- a job for Daniel in Washington. Well I can't even say that is "pending" but we're working on it.

Capper "working" in our back yard

Step number two- find a place to live. This one IS pending, we have some property and we are working on permitting to build our future home.

It doesn't look like much yet, but this is our future home!

Step number three- move.

So there's your update on our future plans, as you can see they are set securely in mud.

Growing Up

This time the post isn't about my kids growing up, it's about myself! I recently read the following quote and it rang true as something I've been thinking about lately.

"Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive?

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults."

Peter Devries

It isn't always a simple task but lately I've been trying to approach every moment as a teaching moment.

Sometimes it is an opportunity to engage Anellah by teaching her a new Bible Story while we take a drive in the car even when it would be easier to just tune out her constant babble.

Sometimes it is an opportunity to teach Capper that we pick up toys before getting new ones out even though it's a lot easier to just pick them up myself.

And so very often it's an opportunity to teach myself that patience is something to be developed and that it's ok if I get angry with my kids sometimes, being imperfect does not equal being a failure.

(That's not beer, it's Root Beer!)

I have learned so much from the past three years of being a parent. I can't say I have loved every minute of it but I can say that I appreciate the challenge. And some days, it isn't a challenge, some days things just seem to come together, on those days I learn things like pure joy when I look in my kids eyes, and seizing the day, and how much our Father in heaven loves us. It sounds cliche but it really is true, parenting reveals to a Mother how deep loves goes and I am so thankful to have a God who loves me like that.

This blog is called "Royal Expansion," so it's supposed to be about our expanding/growing family, right? Well lately I've been thinking a lot about how I want to grow and how I want our kids to, "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." Maybe it is time I shared those thoughts with you.

I feel so inept when it comes to being my children's "spiritual leader" since I feel like Daniel and I aren't anywhere near perfect so we need to start with ourselves. We are "starting with ourselves" but in the meantime I don't think I can wait to be a perfect christian, wife, or mother before I begin to focus on teaching my children about God.  I've been thinking of ways that I can begin to teach them about God and also just be more intentional about time with them since I tend to fill my time at home with other things like dishes and laundry and cleaning and paperwork etc.

So I think I am going to start doing a "verse of the month" with Anellah and Capper. Originally I thought it would be a verse of the week but then realized I wouldn't be on top of it enough to continue with that so I'm starting small rather than starting grand and fizzling out. September's verse is Psalm 139:14, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I can work with Anellah to memorize it, work with Capper to say a word from it, and talk about it throughout the month. Plus pull out a real tangible Bible and read it to them (I think it's probably hard for Anellah to understand the concept of a Bible since there are so many electronic forms these days). I also plan to do crafts/activities that go along with each month's verse. I found this activity on Pinterest.

I am excited to see what God does through each month's verse. I have a feeling I will learn as much from it as my children do! I would love to hear your thoughts and any additional ideas that you have!

Thank you, Lord, for this exhausting life. - Amen

It's 7:21 and I sprawled out here 10 minutes ago after getting the kids to bed. They're far from asleep, I can hear them laughing and bouncing on their beds, but they are in their room and they will stay there until morning. As I left their giggling voices I mused, "How can I be so exhausted by 7:00pm while they are so full of energy??" Didn't we go to the park today? Didn't they run laps (literally) around the outside of the house, in the back door, and back out the front 15 times this afternoon? The whole time with Anellah shouting, "Follow me Capper, follow me!!" But I guess those things just weren't exhausting enough.

Currently there are still pieces of food on the floor even though I vacuumed today; there are still toys on the floor even though we all did "clean up" three times today; there are still art supplies exploding from Anellah's desk because that is her version of "putting it away"; there is still a photo that has slid down and is now crooked in its frame even though it could be fixed in 3 minutes with a piece of tape, and there is still dried milk on the couch from last week that I keep forgetting to wipe up. But those things will have to wait because this Mamma is taking a moment to think about the day and all the reasons she is tired and thank God for them. Today I am blessed with two kids who can run, and jump and shout. I am thankful to live in a place where we can go to a park in shorts and tank top and play with muddy water. I am blessed with friends to suggest the park in the first place. And I am oh-so-blessed that I can be a mostly stay at home Mom with two little buggers.