Wednesday, January 22, 2014
By now you've probably heard of choosing one word to focus on throughout a year rather than getting tied up in a bunch of resolutions you will never really keep. I normally don't do either, I don't make resolutions and I don't choose a word. But this year I wanted to try something new.
I thought about what word I could choose... "here," "present," "grow," "toward," "bloom,""intentional"...I thought about what others had chosen..."with," "seek," "radiant"...And I finally settled on one word.
I tend to be task-oriented. I love people and I love relationships but what I find myself doing is, well, doing things rather than just being present. I sit down to read my Bible and my mind fills with the million tasks I plan to do when I get up. I sit down to read a book to my kids and I remember I forgot to grab them a bedtime snack first. I go on a walk with my kids and I am happy to check "get some exercise" off my list. I sit down to talk to Daniel and I start trying to remember all the things we needed to touch base about. I am working with a Therapist at work to triage a client (determine whether psychiatric hospitalization is necessary) and I am focused on making sure all the boxes on my assessment are complete.
In the midst of all of this, when do I LISTEN? When do I listen to what my kids are really saying when they are misbehaving? When do I listen to how my husband's day was and not just try to tell him about my own? When do I actually listen to the people at the gas station asking us for money? When do I listen to the parent of the child at the park that Anellah has just become best friends with? When do I listen to GOD rather than just asking him for my laundry list of requests?
We are now twenty two days into the New Year and I can definitely say I have been stretched. I shouldn't be surprised that the man in Walgreens seemed genuinely thankful we stopped and talked to him for a minute. That I let my kids pet his mangy dog. I shouldn't be surprised how difficult it is to still my mind and listen to what God may be telling me in the moment or through the day's circumstances. I shouldn't be surprised that maybe my kids "difficult" behaviors may stem from my own actions.
I am excited to see how God uses this act of listening...this act of putting aside what I want to do or say and really taking the time to hear others. I am excited to see how this changes our marriage.
How are your 2014 goals going? Do you, after almost a month, still remember what they are?