Waiting on the Call

Yesterday was mundane. I went to work, Daniel went to work. I messed up planning dinner and nobody liked it. I had to run to the store right before bedtime because we were out of milk. I didn't really get much done. But it was good mundane. I remember missing mundane when I was with Anellah day after day in the hospital. I just wanted our normal back. So here we are.

I did not intend to imply in the last post that we are currently waiting for a foster child to be placed with us. We have not even taken definitive steps to become certified in Washington yet. But we are thinking, and praying. God's plans always end up being so much bigger and better than mine. I just have this feeling that He's got something great up his sleeve and we are on standby, actively waiting to see what he throws at us. Living the mundane and being just fine with that. With only two kids we are able to do more. We are excited that our entire family can volunteer together to provide childcare for our church's special needs ministry every other month. I am able to go see some friends who recently became new Moms and (hopefully) encourage them that the first few months can be really hard and they'll survive! I am able to use my nursing skills to help family and friends here and there. We are able to host a fellowship group with four other families...

So we are thinking about becoming foster care certified, or possibly finding some foster families who need respite, or maybe something else entirely that hasn't even occurred to us yet. And that is where you come in. Will you pray for us that God will provide opportunity and direction? I'll keep you posted on how He answers!

Next Steps

Brushing my teeth tonight I looked at the framed photo. I remember the day...over three years ago...August 6, 2012...the day Anellah legally became our daughter. 100% Royal. I remember I was (as usual) running late, we needed to get moving in order to get into the city in time to make it to the courthouse and through security. My phone was receiving texts and I had a 7 month old who needed to nurse before we left. I remember glancing at myself in the mirror and thinking, "Well, why change? This is as good as it's gonna get" and then realizing there would be a photo or two so I better at least put on a clean shirt. I imagined our friends who were going to meet us at the courthouse in support of this decision, I imagined that Nicole was already ready with adorable perfect kids and waiting in the car for Marco while he did a bit of what I was doing...scrambling.

Nicole the Amazing

Daniel was ready so I put him in charge of Anellah, she was always the easy one. He could handle getting her into the car. I changed and did a quick once-over. Running out the door I went through my mental checklist, "phone, keys, contacts or glasses (yes I forget them sometimes), glucometer, glucose, glucagon, diapers" anything else we could "make do" without. And we were off.

And we adopted Anellah. And it was perfect. And Marco snapped my favorite family photo of the 4 of us, just in the courtroom hallway. Next to someone yelling on their phone because their experience hadn't quite been like ours. And I forgot that I'd almost neglected to put on a clean shirt. And that's how God works with us. We're a mess, but he can make beauty out of the mess.

So here we are again. When we chose to foster Anellah it was because we had an open room, we had a whole house and just two people to fill it! We've downsized now, less square footage but there's still more room for more. And we're still a mess (at least I am!) but there's still room for God's beautiful. So please pray for us as we consider the journey of becoming foster parents all over again...or if not foster parents some way to give, to love, to share this home with more littles.

366

Written September 2, posted today.

A couple days before leaving Oakland, everyone in their Oakland garb!

One year. 365 days since we arrived in Fall City, our new home. 366 days since we left Oakland, the place we'd grown from a young couple to a family of five. Days. Each day, getting up in the morning, learning that my life is a lot less about me than I could have ever imagined. Each night, the dreaded task of "bedtime" the dreaded task that I have finally learned to cherish. That I'd always told myself was the most important part of the kid's day but that I've finally learned to slow down and enjoy. The back rubbing. Promising Anellah I'd come back and give her another kiss after she fell asleep. And I always making good on the promise.

Last week eight hundred pages of paper went in our recycling bin. Eight hundred pieces of paperwork that Anellah doesn't need anymore. Adoption paperwork, school assessments and plans, medical paperwork...and this was after I had purged it before we moved a year ago. It's amazing how something so important can quickly become obsolete. It was another step in the process, part of moving on but also part of remembering and being thankful for what she doesn't have to deal with anymore.

Last night Capper prayed for her again. Prayed that God wouldn't let her get sick again. We've explained He won't, she can't get sick again. I think it's his way of telling God how much he misses her. He asked God last week to make sure she got the message that he'd made a birdhouse for her. A home for the birds in her honor.

You ask us how we are doing and we are doing well. Yes, we miss her. Yes we think about her every day and sometimes it is sad. But we aren't afraid to talk about her and think about all the GOOD memories. There has also been a whole lot of GOOD this past year both before and after Anellah's death. So many fun memories with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins! Capper has grown from a little boy to what seems like a big boy to us! Evelyn has grown from a newborn to almost a toddler! We are enjoying those two, I'm struck by how sweet they are and how fun they are. We're looking forward to another year in this home, the home we were only going to rent for 12-15 months while building our house. Thanks to politics, our house isn't built yet but that's ok. We are cozy here and it's a beautiful location.

At the river in Fall City last week