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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

New Job

The smell of my fresh latte. The cloud-like foam and deep richness of espresso. Between going back to work and a teething baby, it feels like a long time since I enjoyed my coffee alone, just the sunrise and I. Just quiet. Reflecting. Reflecting on conversations from yesterday, conversations with my patients. Thinking about the look when I tell them I won't be back tomorrow, but the way it changes when I tell them I only work part time so I can be home with my little ones. The depth of their "thank you" for a day well served. For a day of passing medications, and changing sheets, and cleaning messes, but more than that, from a day of just listening. 

The openness of a patient with a nurse, because there's something about being a nurse that makes people trust you. Yesterday I walked into the hospital talking to God, reminding myself that this is worship, this work is worship, this life is worship. I walked out with such a richness, such an affirmation that this is the job for me right now. Yes, patient, I hear what you are saying, tears well in my eyes as you grieve over missing your grandchild's wedding because you are stuck in a hospital bed. I may not have been sick myself but I know what the disappointment feels like, missing something because you are stuck in the hospital. Yes, patient, I hear you when you tell me about the loss of your husband when your three children were only teenagers. The pain you felt on your children's behalf as they grieved the loss of a loved one. My story is not exactly the same as yours but I know what you mean when you tell me your faith has brought you through. I see how your faith has given you a reason to have joy in the midst of sorrow. 

Not every day goes this way, there are plenty of times when patients are angry or feel like their call light is never answered, or I when I want to hear their story but four other patients need their morning medications. There are plenty of moments when I feel pulled too many directions, frazzled, and rushed. But even on those days, there is such an affirmation, a feeling that this is the right job, the right one for me, for right now. Working one to two days a week, still plenty of time at home, and just enough time at work to really appreciate the opportunity. 

Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men...It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."

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