Countdown to Vacation

Starting the day off right with Whole Wheat Waffles

This morning was a great way to start the weekend! In hindsight, sunscreen would have been a good idea. Oh well, I haven't had a good sunburn in years!

We walked to Oakland's Laurel Street fair. I wasn't sure what it would be like but I wanted to support the local community. It turned out to be pretty fun (not too big but lots of good food) and the sunniest day we've had in awhile!

Preschool update: we found out Anellah can't be excluded from public preschool based on the preschool not wanting to take cate of her diabetes (it's a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act) so we submit a letter outlining exactly what care she will need at preschool and referenced ADA. The more we researched, the more we felt like we're completely justified in what we seek and it can't legally be denied to her.

Adoption Update: None

Cranial surgery update: Initial appointment to meet the doctors is scheduled for 9/1/11. The more we research online the more nervous we get about what may be involved with the surgery. Praying we'll be pleasantly surprised with what the doctors have to say!

A new week!

Last week started rough with finding out about preschool and Anellah's probably surgery. I had hoped Monday would be the roughest day. But I guess this is a trying time and we will only be stronger in the end!

Despite her crazy amount of "setbacks" Anellah continues to power through growing and learning!

Last week went from a sad Monday to a busy Tuesday/Wednesday to a night in the ICU Wednesday night, back to work Thursday, and a doctor's appointment on Friday! The weekend was fine (just Anellah and I around since Daddy was at work) but today as I was trying to catch up on phone calls, scheduling, getting things in order, I called Head Start since I hadn't received any additional word from them and was waiting on a letter they said they were planning to send. When I talked to the Head Start director she sounded like it wasn't going to be an option for them to provide for Anellah's needs because of the liability. She requested that I write a letter outlining exactly what we are requesting as far as her care. Yet another thing to do and another mountain to scale (they're starting to feel like mountains rather than speed bumps).

Trying to stay entertained in the Emergency Room

Anellah didn't mind the hospital (once the IV was in) because she got LOTS of attention.

What Anellah has always needed is a "normal" home, which she received with us, and a "normal" childhood which we try to give her as much as possible. It is so frustrating that she may be denied what she needs most right now (a preschool with lots of other kids) based on the very things that have already set her back so far!

I forgot how tasty and fun "toad in a hole" is, loving our fresh eggs!

Anellah is a huge fan of "star bread" now

Thank you for continuing to pray with me that I will have strength and organization to do all that needs to be done and that Anellah will be able to receive exactly what she needs both medically and educationally.

On the bright side- as far as we know, everything seems healthy with our baby BOY we look forward to meeting in January. Also, Anellah is learning and growing against all odds! She transitioned to a toddler bed this week and has only fallen out a couple times! She has quick recoveries and once even just settled herself down on the floor.

AAP Update and Possible Surgery

I planned to blog last Monday since we had a meeting with our social workers and an adoption worker from San Francisco County. Of course, the week got away from me so here I am. We had good news last week, San Francisco County is waiting on approval from the State of California for a new budget proposal. The proposal would change the AAP rate system in a couple different ways. The short story is that they would then offer us a monthly amount much closer to what we are currently receiving from foster care. It would mean that we wouldn't have to go to court to fight for these rates and once the proposal passes it could be just a matter of months before the adoption is complete! The new budget matter is expected to pass sometime in August.

I also met with Headstart last Monday and it seemed like everything was a "go" for her to start preschool at Headstart in September. In case you're not from California, Headstart is a federally-funded preschool program for low income kiddos. Anellah qualifies because she is in foster care. I set up two times to come back to Headstart for diabetes training.

Today the news isn't quite as exciting except that everything is still looking good related to adoption- yay!

Headstart called and said they may not be able to meet Anellah's medical needs and are re-considering how safe it is for her to attend Headstart. I think in the end she will still go to Headstart but it means a lot more work on my part and a delay in the process. In addition to training the staff I have to bring a letter from Headstart to Anellah's doctors and make sure that they feel it is safe enough for her to attend. It may also mean that in the event her head teacher is not at school she will not be able to attend Headstart on those days. Kind of a bummer.

Also, Anellah had a consultation with neurosurgery this afternoon because she has an unusual head shape. At first everything looked great and we were told we may never have to return. But when the results of her x-ray came back I received a phone call stating that one of her cranial sutures had fused prematurely and therefore her brain was being restricted from growth. She will likely have to have cranial surgery in the next few months. It's not the surgery itself that is so upsetting to me. It is the fact that there is constantly something new and constantly a new medical issue to treat, monitor, and wonder about the prognosis.

There has been at least one point each day this past week where Daniel and I just look at each other in wonder and think, "Anellah is such a GOOD kid." She is so easy-going, she is so sweet, she is so FUN. I definitely think God gave her this temperament to get through all the other issues she has to deal with in life. I am thankful for her temperament and for all the ways she is learning and growing and am praying that this turns out to be just a little bump in the road.

Chickens!

Here's a blog about something that moved QUICKLY rather than the snail's-pace adoption process. One day I decided I wanted chickens, partially for Anellah's sake since we visited a preschool that had chickens and she was excited about them, and partially because I was looking for an excuse to have chickens. Within a week I'd purchased 2 chickens, a coop, and the rest of the supplies we needed. I had to drive about 45 minutes away to pick up the coop which didn't really fit in the back of the truck. It was quite a sight to see driving down the freeway I'm sure. Especially since the chickens were in the coop the whole time!

That's me!

 Of course, the coop was too big to get in the back yard so Daniel had to disassemble it and reassemble it but he gave it a better design anyway. It took a couple of days for the chickens to get adjusted but we've been getting eggs every day now for a few days. It's so exciting! Anellah loves to watch the chickens and Buddy is even learning not to chase them (surprising). They thoroughly enjoy roaming around our yard eating bugs and little plants, it makes me happy to see them so happy. In the evening they go right back to their coop and all we have to do is close the door.









As for the adoption- Anellah's Mom is starting the first step of relinquishing her rights today. I'm not sure why the process wasn't started months ago as I thought that was the plan. Regardless, please be in prayer for her because it would be a painful process for anyone and I think she's struggling with it.

Independence Weekend

No real adoption updates today except that at court the judge said this issue seems to be dragging on and everyone agreed! The next court date will be July 13th at which time I just expect the attorneys to request another extension and nothing will really change.

This post is really about our fun weekend we had celebrating living in this wonderful and free country! It's so easy to look at what poor condition the United States is in but on days like the 4th of July I am always proud of America and feel like there is truly HOPE.

We spent the weekend playing in the kiddie pool, eating BBQ and watermelon, and watching fireworks. Last night we (Daniel and I with our friends Chris and Chelsea) even climbed up on the roof to watch a fireworks show which completely surrounded us!

Evidently Alameda has the 2nd longest 4th of July Parade in the country. We only stayed for about half!

12 Weeks

Oh and I haven't mentioned in the blog yet that I'm pregnant. I suppose I shouldn't include that information immediately following the statement about being on the roof, but oh well! Things are going great, I'm 13 weeks and haven't had many of the miserable pregnant ailments that most people experience.

The WHOLE family, at Anellah's 2nd Birthday party in March

It’s hard when you have to admit that the reason you’re not adopting the child you already consider your “daughter” is due to money, but there are so many factors that go into our reasoning in sticking with the fact that we won’t adopt Anellah unless we receive the highest AAP rate. The main reason is that we couldn’t afford it, for her to be in daycare we have to pay a specialized care rate and we can’t afford to pay that while I work (nor do we want her in daycare full time) or to have me be a stay at home Mom without any additional income.  So we’ve been stuck.

The reasons the county initial provided for why we did not qualify for the highest AAP rate are because those rates are reserved for “MITS” foster families who adopt. “Medically Intensive Treatment” foster homes.  The problem is, the reason Anellah spent so long in the hospital was because all the MITS families said she needed more intense care than they could provide. We requested to become a MITS family but were told we could not. So Anellah is considered a MITS child in the San Francisco system but since we are not a MITS home we do not qualify to receive the higher AAP funding.

Another issue that came up was the way our monthly checks were written. They were divided into two portions simply because it made it easier for Families First’s accounting department to categorize. We were told by the county that if our checks were written as a lump sum each month then we’d qualify to receive that amount for AAP. Guess what, we had it changed and were then told it didn’t matter. We still didn’t qualify.

There were a few other hoops that we were told if we jumped through then we’d qualify. Guess what, all the jumping in the world hasn’t changed anything yet. At this point we have an attorney but the biggest help is Anellah’s attorney who is COMPLETELY on our side along with Anellah’s county social worker (who basically told us she was willing to lose her job over this matter as what was happened to us is not right). We also have city attorneys and other important folk on our side.

Anellah and I were going to go to court today but it looks like if a certain bill passes this month San Francisco county will change their AAP rate system and we’ll qualify for ALMOST the amount we are requesting. If that happens then it should be pretty smooth sailing and the adoption will finalize sometime around February 2012. My hopes are TOO high since, as you know, we’ve been told misleading information before, but you never know.

We’re not worried, with God on our side who can be against us? Currently Anellah is enjoying living in our home and we’re reaping the benefits of her being a foster child. I know God has amazing timing and I am confident things will work out. Currently Anellah needs leg braces ($2000) and we’d like to get her in preschool in the fall ($950/mo) but these things will be covered if we can get the braces/get her enrolled while she’s still a foster child.  It’s just a waiting game at this point.

And now you’re up to date!!

Worth every ounce of effort.

Can't tell by the photo, but she loves her buddy Chris!

Decision to Adopt

In December our foster care social worker brought up adoption and asked if we would be interested. I told her it was not the reason we’d decided to do foster care and didn’t feel like it was a financial possibility. That’s when we first learned about Adoption Assistance Program, Title IV-E funding. It makes sense that each county would strive to have their foster children adopted because children being “in the system” are a HUGE expense. Children in foster care not only receive state insurance (Medi-Cal), mental health services, and social support their foster parents also receive a monthly stipend. So it also makes sense that until some sort of incentive was established, children were just remaining in foster care rather than being adopted.  We discovered that if we chose to adopt Anellah she would continue to receive Medi-Cal until she was 18 and we could also continue to receive the same amount of money we currently receive each month for her various expenses (transportation to/from medical appointments, time off work for medical appointments, time off work for hospitalizations, time off work for sick days, etc.)

Meeting Santa

She has a thing for sock puppets

In January we met with an adoptions worker and it sealed the fact that we were indeed interested in adopting Anellah. We also had a team meeting with county workers, Anellah’s Mother,  and Anellah’s Mother’s support system.  The goal of the meeting was to come up with a plan for Anellah and we had hoped that Anellah’s Mother would make a decision that adoption was best for Anellah. Instead she requested 6 more months of reunification which she was bound to be given considering she made progress in the first six months.

Did we want to spend another 6 months waiting and then possibly be able to adopt Anellah or did we want to cut our losses now as the attachment was getting too strong and have her move to a different placement? Questions such as these went through our heads for a couple weeks after the team meeting. Until Anellah’s Mother was ready to see us again and she calmly requested that we adopt Anellah. It was such a God-thing! Only God could have changed her heart and pieced things together so perfectly.

By the end of March we and Anellah’s Mother had done all of our parts related to the adoption. We’d signed a legal mediation agreement regarding what biological contact would look like after the adoption, we’d met with adoptions supervisors, we’d completed our adoption homestudy, and we once again had a positive relationship with Anellah’s mother. The only outstanding issue was that the county only agreed to provide us with half  the amount of money we were currently receiving each month for Anellah. And that’s where we’re still at as I write this, but more (somewhat boring) details next post.