We are back in the waiting game. Waiting for someone to call or email seeking a home for a wee one (or two). I imagine what it will be like, but the images keep changing, will we welcome a baby? A toddler? A preschooler? Our license is for up to two children ages 0-6 years old. I wonder how long they will be with us. Will it be for a week or two? Maybe a few months. Maybe a few years. Maybe we will adopt them into our family forever.
On the drive home Daniel and I touched on the ambivalent feelings we have. On what it may feel like if they leave our home. A lot will depend on where they go from us. A lot will depend on how long they are with us. But we will choose to support their transition, even if we don't agree with it, we will choose to support the children who enter our home and the journey that the court system sets them on. We will do what we can to adjust that journey, but sometimes I think we may just have to swallow our feelings and choose to support their journey.
There was a time when I sought to control every part of my life...but we are at a place where I've long loosened my grasp. In 2 Kings 13 we can read of a young ruler who was grieved, knowing the prophet Elisha was at the end of his life. Elisha told him to throw down arrows. The ruler threw three and Elisha became upset, saying he should have thrown 5 or 6. You see Elisha was a prophet who held nothing back with God. He was persistent and he made lofty requests. Did this young ruler have 5 or 6 arrows in his quiver? Did he hold on to a few, keeping them in case they were needed? I recently heard this story and was challenged to hold nothing back, keep no arrows in my quiver but exhaust all that God has given me. Afterward, Daniel and I talked, we felt we could honestly say we're throwing all of our arrows right now. This is the year for TRUST, this is the year that we throw all our arrows and see what God brings about. I have a feeling we might embark on quite a ride this year, but just a Capper felt at the end of the huge waterslide at Great Wolf Lodge, I know we'll be glad we took the risk!